Tearlach (Chapter 21)

Template:Tearlach nav The way into Mephisto's durance was a smooth chute, large enough to accommodate several people. It was a long slide, but Tearlach's fall was cushioned by a pile of human bodies at the end. Sliding in wasn't a bad strategy, actually -- might be easier to catch the enemy off guard. Nonetheless, he preferred stairs. The pile of bodies he'd landed on was deeper than it looked: dozens of local people were heaped into shallow pits in the floor, with holes leading down so blood and putresent fluids could drain away. None of them had anything valuable, so he moved on.

Not all the bodies were just lying around, of course; some of the older ones had gotten the mummy treatment. There were also pin-headed giants and the floating undead mages like in that hidden place in the palace. Weird; according to the elders, every demon lord has his own favorite minions that he likes to use. Here in Mephisto's prison-fortress, he should have his own best slaves sacrificing themselves to protect his rotten hide. This probably means that Diablo got in here first, and he'll have to take on all three of The Brothers at once. It's a good day to die, if it comes to that. Probably won't.

As Tearlach made his way through, he found a lot of treasure chests, neatly packed with valuables and locked up tight. The Zakarumites had probably stripped all these bodies before piling them up, or sending them down more chutes deeper into the durance. It made things very convenient, not having to dig through piles of rotting corpses 12 feet deep for a few coins or a ring. Not that he'd left a single Zakarumite alive to accept his thanks. Maybe he could go directly to The Three; he also had a thing or two to tell them about all these chests being locked. They even arranged groups of torches in keyhole shapes.

Back at Hratli's, Tearlach bought another ring of keys. "Why the hell would a demon lock up all his valuables anyway? Is he just trying to annoy me?"

"One could ask, why did the Horadrim build a tower when they planned to bury him below ground? As I told you before, nothing here has made sense for many years."

"I believe you! Did you know that Asheara's a man?"

Hratli did not react visibly; maybe he was too stunned by the revelation. "Every new day with you is a learning experience. How do you come by this knowledge, I wonder?"

"The alchemist. Damn, he or she or whatever it is gives me the creeps. He looks almost exactly like a real woman!"

"Remarkably so. However, I must admit to some skepticism. I have seen Asheara on laundry day; she is a very bold woman. If that was a disguise, it was easily the best I have ever seen."

Tearlach frowned. "I'm telling you, little wizard, I know what I know. There's no way I can be wrong on this one!"

Hratli tried to smile calmly. "I am sure you are right, of course."

"None of that!" Tearlach snorted. "You don't believe me, but you won't say it because you're a sniveling little coward."

"Actually, I am a passive-aggressive coward. Sniveling was never one of my strengths."

"Never mind! I'm right, and I can prove it! A disguise, huh?"

Sensing imminent catastrophe, Hratli shook his head. "No, no, I must not have seen her clearly. I did not have my glasses that day. They were in the shop, getting new valves."

"You've never worn glasses. I can tell because you don't have the little marks on the sides of your nose."

"Damn my classic profile. Please, you do not need to prove to me what Asheara is. It is not a sight I need to see in this lifetime."

"I'll prove it anyway, and you know why? Because I'm sick of all you wizards looking down your noses at me. Just because you're all jealous doesn't mean you don't have to give me the respect I deserve! Now I'm right, I know I'm right, and you know I'm right but won't admit it! So, damn you, I'm gonna prove it!"

That stupid barbarian hadn't come to visit for a long time, but Asheara wasn't surprised to see him come stomping back in now. What did surprise her was that he had Hratli under one arm. "Hey, Hratli. Don't tell me he's taken a fancy to you?"

"The pleasure is all yours, Asheara. Could I please be released from your armpit now?"

"Fine," Tearlach said propping Hratli up beside the desk before turning to Asheara. "Just so you know I'm onto you, you... thing!"

"A thing? I thought I was a witch."

"He does not think so," Hratli said. "In fact, the contention is over... a thing."

"A thing?" Asheara asked.

"A thing."

"Is it a great big thing?"

"Certainly not."

"So it's a tiny little thing?"

"You'd hardly notice it. At least, I didn't."

"I wouldn't expect you to. Unless he really has taken a fancy to you."

"That I would notice. I did not notice this thing."

"So it's another thing, huh?"

"A thing no one ever suspected."

Asheara grinned; she was actually intrigued. "Hmm, a very mysterious thing. Is it shaped like a turnip?"

"Why are you asking me? I did not notice it."

"Enough of this banter!" Tearlach snarled, "I came here to prove it, so there!" With that, he tore Asheara's top off. "What do you think of that?"

Slowly, Hratli blinked. "You mean 'those'."

"Huh?" Tearlach looked. "Oh, the disguise! They must be glued on."

"EEEYOW!!"

"Please, do not try pulling harder, for all our sakes."

"What the HELL are you two DOING?"

"He was proving a point. Barbarian, do you ever run from combat?"

Tearlach snarled, "Never!"

"Good. I dislike competition."

After barely making it out of the house before the showers of ice and lightning started, Hratli quickly sauntered over to visit Alkor. The old alchemist was standing outside his door, watching the show. "I do so love fireworks. We have had many entertaining displays since the new fellow came to the city."

"Yes," Hratli nodded. "Perhaps he does this as a public service."

"It is certainly better than watching you play around with all your silly magic weapons. As though you or anyone else ever had the stones to use them."

"Alkor, you have entertained us all many times in the past, but I feel no need to follow your example. I am content with the knowledge that our troubles will soon be over."

"You mean, Mephisto will be destroyed and we can torture all the Zakarumites to death?"

"That, or we will all be devoured by Flayers. Except you; I do not think they could survive eating you."

"Oh, happiness! I would smile, but I fear my face might collapse!"

"Whatever brings you pleasure. You need not tell me what that is; I have already spent too much of today in an armpit."

As Alkor danced a jig of joy, Hratli continued to watch magic bolts blasting through the walls and roof of Asheara's house. The whole building was trembling. "Goodness! She is inspired tonight. I hope she will realize how limited my involvement was."

"Of course she will!" Alkor cackled. "But she will freeze your little man off anyway. What did he do to earn it this time?"

"It seems to me that he misheard something you said. Combined with an intolerance for sexual ambiguity, it led him to a certain belief about Asheara."

"Hunh? Did I hear 'sexual ambiguity' and 'Asheara' in the same sentence? It cannot be!"

"She was not pleased." Then Hratli noticed Tearlach leaving Asheara's house, clutching at his groin. "Ah, I see they have reached a satisfactory conclusion."

"No! Asheara will not be satisfied until she has you too."

"I shall have to work on my sniveling." With a faraway look in his eye, Hratli paused to wipe away a tear. "You know, it is almost sad that our new friend's visit with us must end soon, one way or another. He has provided us all with many hours of amusement."

"True, true. His miserable gambling skills. His unique way with women. We will never see another like him."

"That might be too much to hope for."

Ok, so they are real, Tearlach thought as he staggered back to the durance. There was still no call to get so upset. It was an honest mistake -- he really thought that no woman would ever want to drink a potion of manliness. Men are men, and women are women, and no real woman would want it any other way. But would she calm down and listen while he tried to explain this to her? No! Demons are more reasonable than women. They accept steel as the ultimate argument; no ifs, ands, or buts there. Well, the little exploding skeletons aren't very reasonable. There were a few there, and Tearlach dispatched them very carefully.

All the drains and chutes in the durance emptied into one pit in the deepest level. The bubbling pit of corruption was guarded by five more councilors, who led hordes of undead mages. For all their magic, all of them ran, and were cut down. Finally, in the deepest pit of rot and slime in the whole place, the demon lord Mephisto laired. It was probably Mephisto; he said something about his brothers escaping, but Tearlach wasn't really listening. All he saw was a red haze. In the end, the Lord of Hatred, the most terrible of all Hell's evils, went down before Tearlach even had to touch a potion.

There was nothing else in there; no sign of Diablo, or the other one, nothing. Tearlach went back to the docks. "Wizard! Have you seen Diablo or the other one go by here?"

Cain blinked. "You're back! We all heard the scream; was that Mephisto?"

"Guess so. He was big and floated and stank like rotten meat. Anyway, the other ones weren't in there. Where might they have gone?"

"Did you find Mephisto's soulstone? It is crucial that we have it."

"Is that the gem with the little shimmying light inside?"

"Ah, yes. The light is Mephisto's soul. Don't look at it too long, you'll give him a window into your soul. Did you find any sign of Diablo or Baal?"

"They ran like cowards. Their eldest was braver, I'll give him that, but it did him no good in the end."

"They may have used a gate. Were there any there?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, the gate! There's a big red one in the middle of the pool of blood, with screaming faces and things. Lights up the room pretty well."

"Oh, dear. Then it must be a very powerful gate... powerful enough to reach down to Hell itself! That must be where Diablo and Baal have gone."

Tearlach snorted. "Old man, why would anyone want to go to Hell?"

"The Three did not leave Hell of their own choice, all those centuries ago. For a demon, Hell is home, the source of his strength. The Three could not return to Hell, which is why the Horadrim were able to capture and imprison them in the soulstones. It also meant their powers were a fraction of what they would normally be."

"Huh," Tearlach grunted. "So... if they get back to Hell, they get stronger?"

"They regain strength, and may be able to rally Hell's armies behind them, for an assault on the mortal world which imprisoned them for so long!"

"What, you mean all these demons running around aren't Hell's army?"

Cain shook his head. "You have fought a few remnants: scattered demonlings, corrupted animals, and whatever undead The Three could find or create quickly. The armies of Hell are infinitely larger and more dangerous. If Diablo and Baal are not stopped quickly, we might all be doomed."

Concluding thoughts:

1. Berserk is an interesting skill. From the standpoint of game mechanics, it's much better as a back-up skill than a main skill, and trying to adapt to it has been difficult. It's hard playing a melee fighter who gets hit this often, but has no leeching.
2. The warcries tree has some neat stuff in it. I may have to try a "singing barb" one of these days.
3. It occurs to me that in 3 of the 4 parts I've done so far, Asheara loses her clothes, or at least threatens to. Maybe I'm just being horribly sexist, but it seems like that sort of thing would tend to happen, the way she dresses. Or is it just me?