Amanita (Chapter 36)

Template:Amanita nav In the morning, I got up with the sun, had a hearty breakfast, put on my armor and resumed the quest. One way or another, I've got to get this over with soon. It's been all work and no play, and I'm developing too many healthy habits. A few weeks off for some good, old-fashioned debauchery will do me a lot of good. But, business first.

This second set of ice caves was like the first, apart from being even colder, dry enough to make my nose crack, and more full of nastier critters. The only good thing was that there weren't any Zombies. Maybe Baal finally ran out... and, having thought that, I've probably jinxed myself and he'll find a fresh supply. Anyway, the caves were full of Ice Things, Death Maulers, and Bull-men, which was enough to keep me busy. I'd like Bull-men a lot more if they were easier to confuse.

Near the cave entrance, I found my first urn, one of the evil Baal ones that's really a trap. I don't know why he keeps using those. Because I keep opening them, and one's bound to get me sooner or later? From long practice in doing the wrong thing, I popped it open, and mind-slammed the herd of bulls that instantly appeared behind me. None of them got hostile on each other, but they did stop long enough to let me get some distance. From there, I ran to a loop of tunnel and drew them on, around and around. The leader spit some nasty sparks, but that's about all the hurt I took.

The second evil urn didn't work out so well. This bunch of bulls was fast. I never got a chance to hit them before they were all over me. Out came the katar. I spread the love around until I had a second to breathe, then hit them with everything in me. Two started attacking the others, and the herd boss turned away to deal with them. I didn't look back until I had the herd at maximum range and could peg them in safety. They went back to Hell with a few more pieces of me, but the first pack lasted longer.

Back in Harrogath, I stopped by Larzuk's to get my skull welded back together, and maybe get some brains put inside. I'll try anything once. He didn't have any to spare, but he did have good things to say about my performance at the party. "I've never seen anyone drink so fast! You emptied two steins before Vardhaka even finished one!"

"Oh, yeah," I smiled, wishing I could remember any of it. "I've had lots of practice."

"You said that too, when one of the women asked you. You said the trick was to open wide, let it slide in over your tongue, and don't gag, and that you've had lots of practice. Then you started laughing." He looked at me quizzically. "What was that about?"

I blinked. "Nothing. Hey, where'd all the bolts go?"

When I came in, I'd noticed my stash of bolts was empty. I figured Larzuk would tell me why sooner or later, but sooner suddenly sounded like a good idea. He looked over, did one of the worst double-takes I've ever seen, and said, "Oh! There aren't any. You must have used them all up, and I forgot to make more."

He wouldn't look at me, just stared at the empty shelves and shook his head. Boy, is he a rotten liar. I shrugged, and played along. "Gosh, what an oversight! I only have part of one quiver, and that won't be enough. Wherever could I get more?"

"I know!" Larzuk beamed, obviously relieved. "Anya has been going through her father's things. I think she has some arrows that look a lot like your bolts."

I smiled. "Yeah. Well, I guess I'd better go talk to Anya. Thanks!"

It's not that I don't want to talk to Anya. I don't think she'd want to talk to me after what I did to rescue her. Nobody likes having a mind-reader in their head, and being coerced into it is worse than rape. Mulling it over as I walked across town, I decided this probably wasn't her idea. If she wanted to see me, she'd come see me. Larzuk was in on it, but he'd never try anything subtle on his own. Malah? No. Cain? When I walked past a gap between two buildings, I glanced over at him. He was looking, but quickly turned away when he saw me. Ah. Anya must have confided in him, but swore him to silence, so he doesn't want us to know he set us up. He's so cute when he worries about me.

I let myself in with the key hidden under the second tile next to the side door. Anya didn't hear me. She was in the front room, where Aust taught her the Songs of Wisdom, which describe the hidden ways of... I turned around and left as quietly as I'd come, went to the front door, and knocked loudly. When she saw me, her eyes turned to stone. I kept myself from looking any deeper.

"Hi," I said. "I was hoping you might have something here."

"What do you want?"

I held up a bolt. "Do you have any of these?"

She looked at it, and nodded. "The strange arrows. A group of southlanders came three seasons ago, some armed like you. We killed them and took their weapons. I will find them for you."

The clan's most valuable weapons were kept on the second floor. No one told me to stay out, so I followed her up and looked around. The first thing I saw that I didn't recognize, I pointed at and said, "Ooh. What's that?"

Anya stared at me, two quivers of bolts in her hands, the feathers not completely moth-eaten. "How could you not know?"

"I don't know everything."

"But you went into --"

"I couldn't see everything, Anya. Even if I wanted to, you kept pushing me around. You don't know how much work it took to figure out what Nihlathak did."

Nothing much about her changed, outside. "I... pushed you?"

"You were practically in a coma, but you almost pushed me out. You scared me, girl. If you had any training, you would be scary."

Something glimmered in her eyes. As her back and shoulders relaxed, I think she got about an inch taller. "Could you push your way in now?"

"I don't think so. You're awake and rested. Do you want to try?"

"No," she smiled faintly. "There is much you must do, and little time. I am glad you came to me. What you did was so strange, I was afraid of you."

"It would have been stupid not to be, I guess. But I'm not inhuman. Big brains won't help if someone puts a sword through your guts."

"Then you will fear the Ancient Ones as much as any. I fear you must face them."

I nodded, frowning a little. "Ok... what are the Ancient Ones?"

Anya's smile got a little more clear. The more I just talked, the more she relaxed. Pretty soon, all I could see in her was hope. "They are our ancestors, who in ages past, made the ultimate sacrifice. The greatest of them surrendered their freedom to roam free as men ought, and now keep watch over the Temple of Heaven forever. Madawc leads, as he led his joyful hunting parties across the wild --"

"Uh, could you hit the high points?"

She nodded. "The Ancient Ones are mighty warriors, but you must be as well, to have come so far. All who wish to pass into the presence of the Worldstone must prove their worth against them, in the time-honored ways of old. If you meet them, and are strong enough, I am sure they will find you worthy to enter the Keep of the Worldstone."

The caves dragged on, all pretty much the same. One low section went so far under the ice, I was actually standing on rock. There wasn't any meltwater under there this close to the mountain's top: it was all frozen solid. And, screw me for thinking of it, Baal had some Zombies left. They were all wandering around in the deepest tunnels. At least there were Succubi down there too. Succubi are always good for a laugh somehow. One dressed like a skeleton (and almost as skinny) dropped a nice rare sledgehammer.

The third evil urn was in the middle of an open cave, near a section of looping tunnel, as good a place as any to run from an ambush. I popped the urn, and the bulls appeared right in the tunnel. Damn. A few mind slaps quieted the bulls while I sprinted for the other end of the loop. One followed me, then ran away, obviously trying to lure me back to his boss. He didn't last long, and neither did the next one. With careful use of the loop, I whittled them down one at a time, and finally killed the leader with my katar.

The fourth urn was in a narrow hall. A new pack of bulls popped in right behind me, where I should have known they would, and I had no place to run but uncharted territory. Believe it or not, I do learn from my mistakes... so I can make all new ones next time. Scampering squealing like a little girl through caves full of demons is a great way to attract a following. When I had at least 40 demons on my ass, I turned around and slapped them silly, enough to need two potions to get my energy back. The result? Pure chaos. Everything died, with a little help from me. If anyone asks, I'll say I planned it that way.

About 20 feet from the fourth evil urn was a fifth. Honestly, I think this Baal guy is trying to do me harm. Does he think I'm that greedy? Ok, I am, but first I cleared out the rest of the caves to make sure I had a place to run. That's when I found the sixth one. For a demon lord, he sure doesn't have much imagination. Both urns were popped, and the bull-men who jumped me slapped, pummeled, and pierced in due course. Finally, standing over the body of the last Bull-man as he gasped his life out, I rattled my claws and screamed "ANYBODY ELSE WANT SOME!?!" I can be plenty brave when I know everything's dead.

That left the stairs. You could hardly call them stairs, more like a ladder carved in stone. At the top, I clambered out into cold stillness. The sky was a dark, empty blue, with the sun shining weakly overhead. There was no wind at all. Even in that quiet, I barely heard the bars sliding over the gate I'd just come out of. Smooth... and with no visible lock. I looked around the summit of Mt. Arreat.

The top of the mountain was a smooth patch of stone and ice, with cliffs on every edge. Two barred gates were at the ends, one I'd come in -- and the other, which had to be where I'd go out. In the middle was a temple: three rings of eight stone pillars each, around three weathered statues, and a central altar. Nothing else.

The Ancients "surrendered their freedom" to guard the Temple of Heaven, so these statues were most likely my opponents. All of them were huge men. One had a shield and sword. The second had two surprisingly small axes, no bigger than hatchets. The third had what might have been a halberd, though it didn't look that big in his hands. I couldn't make out much else. Enchanted statues tend to need a trigger to activate, which was probably on the altar.

"Ok, boys," I said as I lit a cigar and put extra venom on three bolts, "I'm gonna try to be reasonable about this. I think we all know why we're here. And I think we all know I'm not the one you should be after. But if you don't or can't open that gate, I'm gonna have to get rough with you. I don't care if you want to meet me in the time-honored ways of old. I don't care what you think if me at all. I just need to get in that damned gate. So if it doesn't open in ten seconds, we do this the hard way. You hear me?"

I waited, counting breaths. Nothing. I went to the altar and slammed my fist into it. That did it. The statues didn't animate: they disappeared in a blaze of light, and three mighty Barbarians stood in their place. The glare blinded me for a moment -- I dove and rolled between two pillars as something whizzed through the air behind me. A throwing axe? Should have known. The axeman got the first bolt, taking it in the neck like a man. Sure, it popped out when he flexed his trapezium, but the hard work was already done.

The swordsman whirled towards me, skimming over the ice like a puck. I made sure to protect my teeth. The next bolt went into the halberdier, right in the thigh as he jumped into the air. The swordsman was the hardest target, he had a shield. I got him on the third bolt, and walked away. This fight was over. The Ancient Ones had the heaviest armor I've ever seen, covering them head to toe. That pretty much insured that they'd never catch up to me. The halberdier could jump pretty well, and the swordsman liked to skim along the ice, but I could walk away from either of them any day.

The axe thrower got in a few good shots before he died first. Silently, he vanished in a golden mist, and his statue reappeared on its pedestal, shiny and new. The others took one more bolt each, but never came near me. The halberdier vanished, and then the swordsman. The air was quiet for a minute, and then the bars slipped away from the other gate.

All that talk about the Ancient Ones had me nervous over nothing. They were just old-time, take-it-on-the-chin heroes who fought in an old-fashioned way. Beating them took more patience than bravery. A mighty feat indeed. Well, maybe I'm not so good... but I guess I'm good enough. I walked into the gate.