Bodiccea (Act IV)

Template:Bodiccea nav The Pandemonium Fortress looked like usual: austere, impressive, and boring. There was no furniture of any kind, no food or water stores, not even a place to sleep. Maybe when you become heavenly, you stop needing those things. Bodiccea and Heather looked around with bleary eyes, then went to talk with Cain.

"Hi, Cain," Bodiccea yawned.

"Can you believe this place?" Cain crowed, throwing his arms wide as he gazed around the fortress. "Did you ever dare to dream that you'd one day stand on the crossroads between Heaven... and Hell? This Pandemonium Fortress is truly miraculous! However, your journey is not yet over. Diablo still roams free in Hell, marshalling his demonic forces. Only when he is beaten will our world finally have peace. Hurry now... the sands of time slow for no one!"

"Uh huh," both women mumbled together, and staggered over to Tyrael.

"It is good to see you again, hero. Mephisto's defeat is a great victory for the Light. I knew that you would eventually find your way here. The Pandemonium Fortress is the last bastion of Heaven's power before the Gates of the Burning Hells. This place has been hallowed by the blood of thousands of champions of the Light, many of whom were mortal, like yourself. Now the final battle against the Prime Evils draws near... and you must face it alone. I have been forbidden to aid you directly, save for a few bits of wisdom. For this is the hour of mortal man's triumph... your triumph. May the Light protect you, and the powers of Heaven shine upon your path..."

As Tyrael continued, Cain listened rapturously, marveling at Bodiccea's silence. Tyrael had obviously impressed her; she'd never gone this long without interrupting before. "There is a dark, tortured soul who was trapped in this forsaken realm long ago. He was called Izual by mortal men, and in ages past he was my most trusted Lieutenant. Yet, against my wishes he led an ill-fated assault on the fiery Hellforge, itself. Despite his valor and strength, Izual was captured by the Prime Evils and twisted by their perverse power. They forced him to betray his own kind and give up Heaven's most guarded secrets. He became a corrupt shadow of his former self -- a fallen angel trusted by neither Heaven nor Hell. For his transgressions, Izual's spirit was bound within the form of a terrible creature which was summoned from the Abyss. His maddened spirit has resided within that tortured husk for many ages now. It seems to me that he has suffered long enough. I implore you, hero, find Izual and release him from his cruel imprisonment. Put an end to his guilt and suffering."

There was no reply... except the sound of snoring. Cain looked around. Bodiccea and Heather were both curled up on the floor in front of the fire, their weapons fallen from their limp fingers. He cleared his throat. "Please, let me apologize for her, great Tyrael! The journey has been long and troubled..."

"There is no need, Deckard Cain of the Horadrim. The Pandemonium Fortress is a place of succor, where wounds to the body may be healed and the spirit soothed. There is no safer place to rest in all of the Burning Hells... and for our heroines, rest appears to be what they need at the moment."

The next day, after a long bout of stretching (there's reasons why its a bad idea to sleep on bare stone floors) Bodiccea and Heather explored the fortress. That took about 5 seconds. Halbu and Jamella were... Halbu and Jamella, so Bodiccea summoned Aphelia for the charge out onto the Outer Steppes. This time, Aphelia didn't come: someone else was standing there, glowing like a christmas tree. She was an Amazon all right, but shorter, darker, and much heavier in build. Her hips and shoulders were square blocks of muscle, and one breast was noticeably absent. Scars lined her face, making the cruel smirk look even worse.

"Hey!" Bodiccea blinked in surprise. "Where's Aphie?"

"Aphelia will not be coming," the strange Valkyrie answered. "You should have known that she would not. Don't you worry your empty little head, I'll spell it out for you. You now wear an amulet which bestows +2 to your magical skills, having abandoned the +1 amulet you wore before. Is this not so?"

"Uh-huh..." Bodiccea nodded, staring intently, recognition dawning in her eyes.

Dripping with sarcasm, the Valkyrie went on: "Anyone should realize that with greater skill, the spell summons a more advanced Valkyrie, and so dear little Aphelia would no longer be suitable. Anyone, it seems, except a certain overgrown HARLOT who doesn't have two brain cells to rub together, and has brought nothing but shame to the name of Amazon all the time she's been parading herself around over half of the world!!"

Heather glanced over at Bodiccea. "Sounds like she knows you too."

Trembling, eyes wide with genuine fear, Bodiccea whispered, "B-battle Mistress Phoebe?"

"Oh!" she sneered. "Dawn has broken. Will the Goddess' miracles never cease?"

"But you're old!" Bodiccea squealed in alarm.

Phoebe laughed. "Bo-dee-she-a..." she said, carefully enunciating every syllable, "if you'd bothered to listen during your classes -- not sneak peeks at vapid glamour-girl magazines or daydream about boys -- you might remember that an Amazon who rises up into the embrace of our Goddess is restored by the experience; all the injuries, ailments, and physical infirmities that flesh is heir to are wiped away by her power." After taking a deep, strong breath, she smiled savagely, eyes narrowed. "Seeing you has reminded me of those days... how the wounds I received keeping our islands safe for you ungrateful little brats ached every time I had to chase you down and put you back in your seat... how you used to take advantage of my weakened senses and put laxatives in my morning tea... and who could forget the terribly funny joke of putting sexually suggestive letters in the high priest's box with my name on them, as though they were from me?" She chuckled. "Oh, that was a good one! All this time, you thought I never guessed who did that, didn't you?"

"Eeep..." Bodiccea stammered, drops of sweat dripping down her forehead.

"And now..." Phoebe stepped closer, looking up into Bodiccea's face. "Here you are: all grown up, and obviously very, very proud of that. And here I am... ready and pleased to teach you a lesson you desparately need and won't soon forget." Her smile broadened, looking almost sadistic now. "You have nowhere you can run, no place you can hide, and there's no one else around to distract me. It's just you... and me."

Heather started to speak, thought better of it, and stayed quiet. Bodiccea had gone pale as death during the long speech, and after it was over, she started hyperventilating. "Uh... eee... heee..."

"RIGHT!" Phoebe shouted in Bodiccea's face. "Lace up that armor, you SLUT! They're not for sale, quit advertising them!" As Bodiccea jumped and started tugging her leathers closed, she went on. "Like anything in Hell would care about those floppy appendages you're so unjustifiably proud of anyway! When you're done with that, tie that sash properly! What is your major malfunction? You have a waist! Good! Now drop and give me 50! ALL THE WAY DOWN! You'd have it too easy if all you had to do was touch the ground -- I want to see them squashed flat EVERY TIME!"

Straining to do the push-ups, Bodiccea whined, "But that hurts!"

"Did I give you permission to speak? Did I!?"

"No!"

"NO WHAT!?!"

"No, Battle Mistress Phoebe!"

"Damn right," Phoebe smiled proudly, then glanced at Heather. "What are YOU looking at!?"

Heather jumped, then tried to stand at attention. "Nothing!"

Glowering fiercely, Phoebe slowly looked Heather up and down while Bodiccea gasped her way to 30 push-ups. "Are you supposed to be an archer? Why are you intact?"

"Wha...?" Then Heather's eyes widened, and she held her bow in front of her chest. "I'm a Rogue. Our goddess doesn't want us to mutilate our bodies."

Phoebe laughed. "Why not? The pain too much for you? A warrior's life is pain, get used to it. We have two for a reason! A shame this slattern's been your only example of what an Amazon is." Looking down at Bodiccea, who was struggling to do her 35th push-up, Phoebe sneered, "You are completely soft."

"I don't have much stamina..." Bodiccea strained upwards, her face red with effort.

"Ha! You don't have the energy to do a few push-ups, but you do have the energy to whine about it! You should be ashamed you ever called yourself an Amazon. GET UP! I'm sick of looking at your flabby ass! Get that spear and show me your Fend drills! You!" She pointed at Heather. "You show me what you've got too! Can't be much, but at least we'll know what we've got to work with here."

"Um..." Heather hesitated, then raised her bow and fired an arrow at the wall. It made a nice crackle and burst of sparks, but Phoebe did not seem impressed.

"What was that? WHAT WAS THAT!? Let me see that thing." After snatching the bow away, Phoebe examined it, then made a face. "This is pathetic! Anyone your level should be using a bow 10 times heavier than this! No wonder you're so scrawny, you've never had to work for it!"

"Hey!" Heather frowned.

"Hey, nothing! Gems can only take you so far, little girl! Whoever trained you obviously didn't do a very good job, so... drop and give me 50! NOW!!"

Heather dropped to the floor, and started doing push-ups. Phoebe watched Bodiccea fend off imaginary foes. "Hmm... barely acceptable. Now your Lightning Strike."

Panting, Bodiccea stopped. "I don't know Lightning Strike yet..."

Phoebe's eyes went wide. "What did you say?"

"I don't know Lightning Strike yet, Battle Mistress Phoebe."

"Why not?! Didn't save enough points? Wasted them all on Dodge or Evade? No, I'll bet you put a point into Pierce, didn't you?"

"No, Battle Mistress Phoebe! I --"

"Then we sure as hell know where your next point is going, don't we! A spear Amazon without Lightning Strike! Athulua gave us that for a reason!"

"And Blizzard made it suck," Bodiccea muttered through her teeth -- and almost instantly the butt of Phoebe's spear whished up and thudded into her belly. Bodiccea doubled over and dropped with hardly a sound.

"I DID NOT GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SPEAK!!" Phoebe shouted in her face.

"Eeep!" Bodiccea replied, as Heather finished her push-ups and got to her feet.

"Goddess, that felt good." Obviously feeling pleased with herself, Phoebe grinned. "From now on, you will speak when you are asked a question, or have important information to convey. At no other time are you to open your yap. Bodiccea, you are going on a diet, to lose that soft belly. You, whatever your name is, you are also going on a diet, to gain some weight. Your days will begin with two hours of calisthenics every morning, and two every night before I tuck you all snug into your little beds. You two think you can handle that?"

Panting, staring, resentment boiling in both their minds, Bodiccea and Heather passively said, "Yes, Battle Mistress Phoebe."

"Good. Now, get your asses into Hell where you belong! MOVE IT!!"