Bodiccea (Chapter 36)

Template:Bodiccea nav The screaming in her back woke Bodiccea up -- even heavenly stone floors are not a good place to sleep. Falling asleep with her armor completely laced up didn't help either; even hardened leather isn't very comfortable. Painfully, she rolled onto her back and pulled the lacings open, relishing the chance to breathe as she tried to stretch her back. After a few seconds of agony, she gave up and rolled onto her other side for some more sleep. A short trip to the healer in the morning would take care of the pain anyway, and at least this way she could spread it around so it wouldn't wake her up again.

The world went black for a few hours, but then Bodiccea awoke refreshed, almost invigorated. Heather was nowhere in sight, but she could hear voices. "Heather?"

The voices stopped, and after a few seconds, Heather came around the corner. "Hi, Miss B. Wow, you were really knocked out."

Bodiccea groaned. "Dealing with an old battle-axe like Phoebe can do that to ya. Man, what a b!tch."

Heather smirked. "I thought you said being a b!tch was good."

After giving her the stink-eye, Bodiccea laughed. "No, I said ME being a b!tch was good! What I really meant is you should be a B.I.T.C.H.: Babe In Total Control of Herself."

"Oh. Is that like a secret club, with codes and handshakes and things?"

"Sure! I'm a founding member. The membership card is a lifetime excuse for anything, on the grounds that you have permanent PMS."

Smiling, Heather nodded. "I see why you'd like that, Miss B."

"Heather!" Bodiccea laughed, and mimed a cat clawing. "Hiss! Spit! You're pretty happy to see Phoebe gone. You've turned snotty again."

"I guess," Heather shrugged, still laughing. "Mostly, I've been talking with Regulix. She's pretty nice."

"Who?"

"Your new Valkyrie. Behind you."

Bodiccea looked around, and there she was. The new valkyrie was indeed taller than her by about an inch, but willowy-slim and lithe even in full armor. From her long, graceful legs up to her slender but powerful shoulders, the glimmering golden plate she wore seemed to underscore her body rather than conceal it. Her eyes were the deep, fathomless blue of the evening sky, under a crown of thick, lustrous hair the color of honey. "Hello," Regulix said, in a silken voice as smooth as untroubled waters.

Bodiccea hated her almost instantly. "Hi," she said, trying to smile.

Maybe there were a few too many teeth showing in that smile. Sensing trouble, Heather stepped up beside the two taller women and said, "You know, Regulix told me about a trick you could have used to get rid of Phoebe. It's really simple."

Smile still frozen on her face, Bodiccea said, "Do tell."

"If you wish," Regulix smiled softly. "You grew powerful enough to summon Phoebe by use of an item. Dispensing with the item would have rendered you unable to summon her."

The lower half of Bodiccea's face hardly moved, but she blinked several times and finally muttered, "You mean, like, getting +1 meant she... she TOLD me that's why... so all I had to do was get rid of +1, and..."

"We would have sent Aphelia back to you."

Slowly, Bodiccea walked over to the nearest wall, bashed her forehead against it three times, and came back. "All right!" she grinned maniacally. "What other incredibly obvious things have I missed so far?"

"Nothing of importance," Regulix said in the same maddeningly calm tone.

"It's ok, Miss B," Heather said sheepishly. "I didn't think of it either."

"Well, why didn't you? You're the brains in this outfit."

"Uh... I know I'm not blonde, but what makes you think I'm the smart one?"

"You have to be," Bodiccea laughed. "You wear higher necklines than I do."

"Uh... yeah. Anyway, Regulix says she's from a long time before you were born, and she was kind of well-known back then, but no one really remembers her anymore."

Bodiccea nodded. "Uh-huh. The name's kind of familiar. So, Reggie... does that mean that now, if I take off a +2 skills item like this circlet, I'd summon Aphelia again?"

Regulix nodded. "Yes."

Heather smiled. "That'd be okay. I liked Aphie."

After glancing at Heather, Bodiccea said to Regulix, "So we both know I could get rid of you anytime I want."

"If that is your wish."

Pausing for a moment, Bodiccea weighed her options. "Do you know any embarrassing stories about me from when I was a kid?"

A hint of amusement flashed across Regulix's eyes. "No."

Bodiccea nodded. "Good. What's your opinion on militaristic discipline?"

"It should be left to soldiers."

Suspicious, Bodiccea pressed further. "Are we soldiers?"

"No. You are the heroine, leader of a band of sisters in arms."

"Ooh, I like that," Bodiccea smiled more genuinely. Standing arms akimbo, she breathed in deep, making her leathers creak. "Whatcha think of my outfit?"

"How you dress is your choice."

"Damn right, but that's not what I asked." Eyes narrowed, Bodiccea asked, "Do you think walking around like this makes me look like a cheap floozy?"

After a slight pause, Regulix said, "Yes."

"Did it occur to you that maybe I WANT to look like a cheap floozy?"

"That was never in doubt."

"Ok, sarcasm is fine," Bodiccea laughed. "I'm starved. What say we hit Atma's for some pancakes and sausage, then clear the City of the Damned?"

"Okay!" Heather smiled brightly. "Mmm, pancakes."

"Dripping with syrup and melted butter," Bodiccea agreed. "Oooh, yeah."

After a huge breakfast, which would have been bigger but Regulix reminded them they'd be running to the City of the Damned, they set out. One of the most annoying things about Hell is the scarcity of waypoints. Bodiccea had been investing in vitality, so she made the run from the Pandemonium Fortress to the city entrance without stopping. Heather and Regulix took the easy way, once Bodiccea had arrived. This time, some Corpse Spitters and Dark Familiars were closest to the entrance; Bodiccea wondered if maybe there wouldn't be any Abyss Knights at all. No such luck: ten steps later, fiery missiles with little horns came roaring out of the darkness. At least there weren't any Flesh Mothers.

As an experiment, Bodiccea stuck a point in Lightning Strike and tried it out on some Corpse Spitters. It was kind of weak, but 1 point in a skill usually is, and synergies would improve it in 1.10. Pity Blizzard didn't give the physical spear skills any synergy bonuses, though. It was kind of awe-inspiring when Regulix took on Corpse Spitters. Bodiccea learned through personal experience that their barf attack is both powerful and revolting, but Regulix hardly noticed. The goop couldn't stick to her either, and she ignored it so serenely...

There were two times when the City of the Damned gave them trouble. The first was when a boss pack of Abyss Knights attacked, reinforced by a larger band of normal Abyss Knights. Even without the Fend bug coming up, Bodiccea's life ball bounced up and down something fierce; the Chaos Sanctuary would be very dangerous. The second time was when they entered a ruined building whose floor was covered in skull piles, bone chests, stashes, and trapped souls, and a boss Strangler pack attacked. Bodiccea kept hitting random treasure piles instead of monsters, and Heather got seriously hurt. The waypoint was nearby, and after finishing off the level, Bodiccea was halfway to level 33.

Down on the River of Flame, Bodiccea first went to the right, knowing there'd be a little section with a sampling of the local monsters. They first met a champion pack of Venom Lords, reinforced by Abyss Knights. That was acceptable; Abyss Knights are bad, but a mix of corpse spitters and either Grotesques or Hell Maggots would be worse. Sure enough, when they turned around to head up river, the next monster type they encountered was Grotesques, with Maw Fiends right behind them. Venom Lords never appeared again.

With all the monsters and ranged attackers, it was slow going up the River of Flame. More than once, the gang got tied up in a narrow section, hemmed in by Grotesques and their young while Abyss Knights blasted them from across the river. When Bodiccea ran to get the knights, Maw Fiends would come in to the abundant corpse piles and started pegging them all over again. The worse tangle came at a square area with a central moat surrounding an island, with one bridge leading to it. The island was full of Abyss Knights, and the rest of the area was full of Grotesques. Working their way around to the bridge took forever -- Heather had to be given potions twice. Once Bodiccea got through, the knights fell quickly, and she hit level 33. Risking another Valkyrie wasn't worth it, so she improved Fend.

Despite the difficulty, loot was sparse on the river. Cain only got to identify one item from Abyss Knight island, a scepter with big bonuses to Conversion and Holy Fire. That made it useless, of course, but worth a lot of money. From the island, there were two directions they could go: one should lead to the waypoint, and the other to the Hellforge. Bodiccea flipped a coin, and they went right.

Past a monster shrine, Bodiccea's quest button flashed on: the Hellforge! She hit the shrine and gave a Maw Fiend spectral hit, then killed it while Heather and Regulix cleaned up some Grotesques. A little further in, and Hey, Fatso! came out to get them, hobbling along at a high clip. He looks so silly when he does that, but his conviction aura is not silly, especially with Abyss Knights in the area; Bodiccea led him away from the forge. Regulix was there, and she cast a Decoy to get another hit, but once Heather came in and stood close enough behind her to give her a fourth Fend strike, Fatso was as good as dead. In a matter of seconds, Bodiccea had the hammer and was heading back to clear his island. Mephisto's soulstone yielded up the usual gems and a Thul rune -- pretty good for Normal.

The other way from Abyss Knight island wandered through several groups of monsters. They dropped some awful Amazon spears (about time) and a heavy crossbow. Damn, those things are slow. In short order, they had the River of Flame waypoint, were ogled by the statues, listened to Hadriel's odd comments about Diablo, and were headed back to the fortress for a well-deserved night's rest.

"Congratulations!" Cain said when they came back. "Surely, even Diablo himself, sensed the fury unleashed when you smashed his Brother's Soulstone."

"Hi, Cain," Bodiccea smiled. "Sorry I haven't gotten more stuff for you. The pickings are mighty slim down there."

Cain laughed, looking happy at the chance for any kind of conversation. "My needs are not important..." As he said this, Bodiccea wandered off. "Oh, fudge."

"That was annoying," Bodiccea said as she unloaded stuff at Halbu's. "I don't think I've ever found this little for so much trouble. Eh, the gems are enough to pay for repairs, at least."

Heather shrugged. "It's not as though we need much."

Halbu regarded them mildly. "What do you need?"

Bodiccea laughed. "The usual. A little money, a little fun, a challenge or two..."

Regulix quirked an eyebrow. "All quite pointless without agreeable company."

"Oh, yeah," Bodiccea nodded. "I guess that's one thing Phoebe taught me, but she never knew it."

"For myself," Regulix said, "I enjoyed our time at Atma's."

"You didn't even eat anything," Heather observed.

"No," Regulix smiled. "But our short stay reminded me that it has been some time since I was in the company of men."

"Oh, yeah!" Heather said. "I think everybody noticed you! It's like, for once, nobody was paying any attention to --" Then she noticed Bodiccea. "Uh, their breakfasts. Yeah, it was breakfast, but no one was paying attention. 'Cause you're all glowy and stuff."

"Yeah," Bodiccea was smiling again, the hairs on the back of her neck prickling up. "You know, I don't think most of those guys thought you were for real."

"I am accustomed to that," Regulix smiled. "Even in life, men would often comment on seeing visions when I entered a room."

"Gee," Bodiccea nodded, still smiling. "That's great. You know something else I need? I need a little respect. Sometimes, I don't think I get very much."

Halbu smiled and bowed to her. "Hail to you, champion."

"No, no!" Bodiccea snorted. "Not like that. I need something else."

"What DO you need?" Jamella asked.

Bodiccea sighed. "A little respect. And... oh, I don't know." She went silent for a long time, fidgeting as she stood there.

Finally, Heather cleared her throat and said, "What do we have to do next?"

"Whack the big enchilada himself. Which means talk to Tyrael."

Regulix smiled. "Perhaps you should bring some sleeping mats there before you do."

"Oh, ha ha," Bodiccea grumped. "I think I can stay awake this time."

"Yeah," Heather nodded. "Maybe we could spend the night in Lut Gholein. It's a lot more comfortable there."

"Sure," Bodiccea agreed, then glanced at Regulix. "I take it you don't object?"

Smiling faintly, Regulix shook her head. "No."

Bodiccea slowly nodded, then quietly said, "Um... one question?"

"Yes?"

"Can I borrow that outfit sometime?"

Regulix smiled, but shook her head. "Someday. You are not skilled enough as yet."

"Oh, not now! You need it now. Or will in the morning."

She nodded. "I will not be wearing it tonight."

Bodiccea took a deep breath, and slowly let it out. "So the armor can come off, huh?"

"When I wish... and it has been a very, very long time."

"Yeah. Don't rub it in, huh? Let's just go."