Bodiccea (Chapter 43)

Template:Bodiccea nav Before heading back out, Bodiccea swung by Malah's, ostensibly to sell the runes and a few potions she'd picked up. The old woman was much friendlier than Qual-Kehk, though still not everything Bodiccea might have hoped for. "Thank you so much for rescuing the men. The thought of them suffering in those cages filled me with despair. You are like an angel."

"Jeebus, I hope not," Bodiccea smirked. "Hey, Reg, you're better at the angel thing than I am. Am I angelic?"

Regulix smiled serenely. "You will be glad to know I realize that you do not intend for me to respond to that question."

"Coolness. Malah, do these guys lying around here ever do anything?"

"There are some wounds beyond even my power to heal quickly," Malah shook her head. "I thank you for the potions you have brought, and hope my gold will be last."

"No prob. I give money to Larzuk for repairs, he gives it to you, you give it back to me, and I gamble it away when I have too much. It evens out. Hmm... say, Qual-Kehk told me fighting is men's work. Do you think so too?"

"It has always been so," Malah said quietly. "Tradition runs as deep as the roots of the mountains among our people." She went on, sadness slowly darkening her eyes. "Our ways, our livelihood, have suffered so much. The tribal elders are all dead.. save Nihlathak. These must be the final days..."

"Nah," Bodiccea shook her head. "Well, maybe, but what's gonna happen will happen, so don't worry about it." Then the thought for a moment. "No, wait, I came in here for a reason. You're upset about something, and you need to tell me."

Malah smiled. "Is it so easy to see as that? There is a matter which I hesitate to share, but I believe you are the only one who can help me now."

Bodiccea nodded. "Sure. It's not helping you, but hey. Go on?"

"Anya, the young alchemist and daughter to one of our slain Elders, has been missing for some time. She is a strong, crafty woman with a spirit like no other. One night, just before your arrival, I overheard her and Nihlathak arguing about her father's death. The next morning she was gone."

"Dumm da dum dum!" Bodiccea laughed. "Sorry."

Heather sighed. "I hope you can forgive Miss B, Malah. She can't help herself."

"I know! Somebody stop me!"

"Please continue, Malah," Regulix said, favoring Bodiccea with an indulgent smile. "Should it prove necessary, we could bind and gag her for a short while."

"Oooh, kinky!"

"Ok, Reg." Heather smirked. "She needs a gag. Grab her socks."

"No! Not that!" Bodiccea laughed. "I'll be good. Really!"

The goodwill written on Malah's face earlier was gone now, but she went on. "Nihlathak has his own tale as to where she went and why. Don't believe him! I fear he is at the root of her disappearance. Please, if you can, search for Anya and bring her back to us. She'll know what to do about Nihlathak."

"Okey-dokey," Bodiccea giggled. "I'm sorry, Malah. When things get serious, I get silly. I'll go get her for ya."

"I thank you. Your ways are strange, but you have done much good. I feel we may have confidence in your abilities."

"Thanks, it's about time somebody did. Ok, that's one quest, some clumsy foreshadowing about the next one, and it's time to go talk with Nihly. See ya!"

On the other side of town, Bodiccea bounced over to Nihlathak, the clanging of her armor warning him of her arrival. "Hi, gruesome!"

"Well, well," he sneered. "If it isn't the shepherdess, having found her lost sheep. Or was that a cowbell I just heard?"

"I don't wanna know about you and sheep, and you'd better not have called me a cow. Whatcha got to say about Anya?"

"Anya? Who have you been talking to?" His face darkened with anger as the realization dawned over him. "Likely it was that meddling Malah."

"Right the first time, Sherlock! I'll give you 5 seconds to explain yourself before I violate your virgin ass with the butt of this spear for being such a sell-out."

"Miss B?" Heather frowned. "Not that I like him, but I don't think you can do that."

"Somebody else got to his ass before I did?"

Heather shook her head. "That's not it."

"Aw, c'mon!" Bodiccea pouted theatrically. "Maybe he'll be walking funny when I get down into the Halls of Vaught."

"Nah. He kind of floats around."

"Oh, yeah. Phoo." She stuck her tongue out at him. "Spoil all my fun, why don'tcha."

Now turning purple, Nihlathak hissed, "And did Malah also tell you the name of the deepest sanctum of my clan temple?"

"Lay off Malah! I'm your problem now."

"My dear, foolish girl," Nihlathak smiled toothily, "let me tell you how it happened..."

"Nah," Bodiccea shook her head. "I'm gonna be heading up onto the Arreat Plateau pretty soon, so I'd better gamble all my money away now or my stash'll fill up. I'll take everything on your board there. And see ya in the Halls of Vaught."

A little way beyond the third and last wall on the Frigid Highlands, they found the entrance to Abaddon, the first mini-hell. After clearing away a few residual Imps and Eyeback the Unleashed (how do they come up with these names, anyway?) Bodiccea made a town portal and went back for her leathers. The whole city was treated to the sight of her going to her stash, then scampering, yipping, back to her portal. Down in the nice warm infernal pit, they quickly found some monsters: Demon Rascals and Blood Lords. Bodiccea paused so Heather could snipe across the gap. It worked fine when she was firing normal fire arrows, but the Lightning Hose wasn't quite long enough to reach.

"Heather, could you move closer to the edge?"

"Any closer and I'll burn my toes off. This gap is too wide."

"Phoofies! Oh, well, we do this the old-fashioned way. They're just Blood Lords, how bad can it be? Reg, please stay close."

"I shall."

They went around, through a small nest of Rascals and boldly into a pack of four minotaurs. Bodiccea ran into the middle of the bunch... and started whiffing. Curse the damned Fend bug. After moving a bit, she tried again -- no dice, and now they had her blocked in. The Decoy was ignored, and they were pounding her silly when Heather caught up and started shooting. Two melted under the hose, giving Bodiccea enough time to switch to Jab and leech some life back. Regulix finished off the last one.

"Ok!" Bodiccea said, holding her sliced-up armor together with one arm. "That could have gone better. Thanks for the save, Heather. Reg?"

"I am sorry, Bodiccea," she bowed her head. "When you are so lightly attired, it is difficult for me to keep pace with you."

"Ah." Bodiccea nodded. "Ok, it was like that in Hell too, I just didn't notice so much. So from now on, we walk up to frenzy-taur packs, or let them come to us."

The next bunch of Blood Lords was easier to take. Chasing imps was easier in the leathers, but even boss imps don't demand as much care as minotaurs. Another unpleasantness came up when they went back to Harrogath.

"Of course I can fix them..." Larzuk said, looking somewhat baffled. "But I still don't know why you went out to battle in leather underwear."

"It's in one of those little hell-pits," Bodiccea grinned, teeth chattering. "P-pretty warm down there! Mind if I stand next to your forge?"

"Oh, no." He scratched his head, then laughed a little. "Maybe you're hot-blooded..."

"Sure!" Bodiccea sidled up as close to the fire as she possibly could, desperately hugging herself against the cold air. "Check it and see! Could you sew f-faster, please?"

"I... um, I have to say you look really great in it..."

"S-s-sure!" Now she was hopping up and down to try and keep her blood flowing. "That's what it's th-there for! Do you have, like, a blanket or something around here?"

"Uh, no." He glanced sideways at her, then averted his eyes, blushing. "Ok, I'm done --"

"THANKS!" Bodiccea snatched the leathers away and jumped back into them. "See ya!"

Wending among the islands, there were a few more threats, like a champion pack of Lashers with some exploding slaves. Her spear's long reach saved Bodiccea from the mess. Trips back to town were brief and infrequent until they found the Golden Chest of Joy, it was just too cold. There was a flaw in this plan of wearing the leathers in the mini-hells. Feeling grumpy -- and avoiding looking at Heather -- Bodiccea changed back into Goldskin and went back to the surface again.

Past some fences in the narrows, the Arreat Plateau spread out wide and cold before them. Lashers, Slayers and Evil Demon Huts were monotonously omnipresent. The surface areas of act V have to be the most boring in the 1.09 game; there's no variety at all. Knowing how painful a whiff could be with exploding slaves around, Bodiccea moved slowly and carefully, letting them approach so Heather and Regulix could pop them first. When she did mix it up with exploders, the War Fork was long enough to keep them at bay. The only time she didn't use Fend was when they met a Lasher boss with the Fanaticism aura. For him, Bodiccea opted for carefully-placed Decoys, Jab, and Regulix soaked the damage. The Valkyrie took a terrible beating without ever complaining.

After seeing far, far too damn many naked, swollen demons exploding, the magnificent three reached the first wall. To her surprise, Bodiccea discovered that decoy was a great way to get rid of exploding slaves -- they'd run right up to it and burst harmlessly. That helped to clear the wall with much less fuss. There were no Babas inside the wall, so they cleared it at a leisurely pace.

The waypoint was right on the other side of the first wall. The sun was down, and while it wasn't that late, Bodiccea decided to call it a night anyway. "That was easy; the waypoint is usually farther up the plateau."

"Cool," Heather said. "What's the next mini-hell called?"

"I forget. They're all the same anyway, so who cares? Anyhoo, whatcha think of the Lightning Hose, Heather?"

"It's nice when it works, which isn't always. You move so fast, I'm usually at long range, and it doesn't do so hot then."

"Yeah. So, it's either I slow down, or you switch back to Kuko."

Heather nodded. "I think I'll go back to Kuko. It's a great bow, and works at any range."

"Great," Bodiccea gave her a hug. "Now, I'm gonna get some dinner and go to sleep. I'm bushed."

"You sure, Miss B? All the Babas are back in town, they might want to meet you."

"Mmmaybe," she winked. "But I am tired. All that shivering takes a lot out of ya. Maybe I'll play hard to get for once."

Regulix smiled. "I will be happy to speak with them for you. Mind you, my last attempt at conversation, with Qual-Kehk, was not well received. These people do not believe women may speak as equals to warriors."

"Is that what he's got his undies in a bunch about?" Bodiccea frowned, and snorted. "I guess I'll have to drag my ass over there and correct him. And meet his men. Who knows? Maybe one of them's actually taken a bath sometime this year."

She strode off towards the town square; Heather was about to follow, but she heard someone say "psst!" from a nearby empty house. It was Khaleel. "Hey."

"Hey! What are you doing here?"

"Freezing my butt off," he laughed. "Nah, I've been here before. I just wanted to see you again."

Blinking, Heather shook her head, not sure she'd heard that right. "Me?"

"Yeah, you. I missed you, you know?"

A smile crept onto her face. "You did?"

"Yeah." Shifting on his feet a bit, Khaleel laughed nervously and said, "Look, uh... I know this sidewalk cafe over in the Thief game, near Ramirez's mansion. They serve espresso."

She stared slack-jawed for a while, then finally managed to get out a tiny squeak. "I..."

"Uh... you wanna go over there? It's warmer, and the food's better."

"Uh... I... sure! I'd love to."

"Great!" He grinned, clasping his hands behind his back and rocking on his heels. "So... shall we go?" A bit clumsily, he offered his left arm.

"Yeah!" Heather smiled. "That'd be great!" Taking his arm, they quickly and quietly left.