Amanita (Chapter 31)

Template:Amanita nav "Thank you for destroying that monster," Malah said as she put healing potions on a shelf, ready to be grabbed. "Lifting the siege has lifted all of our hearts, and given an old woman reason to hope again."

"Not a problem," I said, then thought maybe I shouldn't have. Some of the local fighters were still hanging around in the doorway of Malah's hospital. Doing what they couldn't, then calling it easy, wouldn't earn me any friends. "Well, Shenk was a problem. Getting to him was a real problem. Come to think of it, I don't think I've had a more difficult mission."

Malah looked at me curiously. "Strange... your friend Cain told me you came here from Hell itself, after you slew Baal's brother demon Diablo in his own lair."

"Oh, that," I shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, that was bad, but this was pretty bad too."

"Though Shenk is slain and his army broken, no one saw you make the kill. Those on the battlefield say you moved with such speed that they could not keep pace, and yet after you passed, none of the enemy remained alive."

"Crossbows are pretty good one shot, one kill weapons. And the mission goal was Shenk, not his underlings. I've always been quick. You just have to focus."

The air was still pretty frosty over by the warriors. Malah shook her head and went back to a kettle of herbs she had boiling. "I also thank you for the potions you brought back with you. Under the siege, everything was in short supply."

"Oh, that's right! I was gonna bring some rabbits back too."

"There is no need," Malah smiled. "Our people are great hunters as well as mighty warriors. Though night was fallen, many have already gone for badly-needed food." She glanced at the men loitering in her doorway. "Haven't they?"

With a few murmured acknowledgments, the men hastily left. Malah smiled at me. "Cain also told me you use poison on your arrows. His words make you out to be a hunter of men, not game, so you may not realize poisoned meat will do us little good."

I blinked, then nodded. "Oh, yeah. I don't know if anything I shoot with this bow is safe to eat. And chasing rabbits with the katar would look pretty stupid."

Still smiling, Malah stirred her pot. "I hope you understand that not everyone is as happy to see you as I am. We are a proud people, and do not easily accept aid from others."

"So I gathered. Qual-Kehk was still sure he could break the siege. I only saw a dozen guys out there, you can't take on an army with that."

"Protecting the holy mountain is our most sacred duty, and Qual-Kehk's greatest calling. He has devoted his life to keeping outsiders away. Baal's coming has been very hard on him. One third of those under his command were slain in our first sally. So many have fallen or been captured since then... they have weighed heavier on him than chains of iron. If he has spoken ill to you, I beg you to forgive him."

Hard on him? Sounds like it was harder on his men. But I said, "He... well, he gives me the impression of someone who thought about things once when he was young, decided how his life was going to be, and hasn't thought about it at all since. He would have been fine if... well, if all he had to deal with was... um..."

Impassively, Malah said, "Sometimes, it is good not to say too much of what is in your heart. Leaders like Qual-Kehk must be respected."

"Oh, I respect him," I half-lied. "I'm sure he's a great fighter. I wouldn't want to fight him. It's just that war takes strategy, and having enough troops."

"Baal's forces have swept over our lands like an avalanche. We have never seen such numbers. I understand the southern kingdoms have fared no better against his brothers."

"No, nobody's doing all that well," I admitted.

Malah's eyes were like flint. "What strategy would you recommend, then?"

I grinned a little. "Poisoned arrows?"

The old woman's eyes softened, and she chuckled. "I cannot approve, you understand. Cain has described your ways of stealth and poison, which are not honorable methods."

Honorable, schmonorable, it's about what works. There's also my secret tricks, but mind games and perception tricks would be even less honorable to these guys. "Well, ok. Earlier, did you say 'captured'? As in taken alive?"

"Some of those who returned spoke of escaping cages the demons built. What their fate would have been had they not escaped, I cannot say, but shudder to think."

I nodded. "Where were these cages?"

She looked at me, clucking her tongue. "If defeating Shenk was as difficult as you say, I fear you should not make an attempt on the prisons. Long ago our people girded the sacred mountain with high walls and strong towers. Baal took them, but did not destroy them as he did everything else. His demons man them now. Stealth and venom can do little against a wall of stone or bars of iron."

I almost kept myself from smiling. "I'm pretty handy at infiltration. And I've got no plans for tomorrow. You mind if I bed down in here? It looks pretty empty now."

"Of course not. You may stay as long as you like."

The next morning was bright and clear. Something at the back of my head was nagging me, something I'd almost forgotten. Food? No, it looks like everyone's gotten some. Two rabbits wouldn't have made Larzuk more than a snack anyway. Larzuk? He should have bolts ready by now, but that's not it. Oh yeah, Nihlathak -- gotta make sure he won't try doing anything about the situation we're in. When I talked to him, he sounded arrogant and depressed, not a good combination in a tribal shaman. If he tries something I'm not expecting, it could go badly for both of us. He was sitting outside by the fire, chewing on some rabbit. Two Barbs with heavy spears were with him.

"Hi there," I said, putting on my best smile. "Can we talk?"

They all looked at me, chewing slowly. Distrust and intolerance simmered under the skin of their minds, but none of them said anything. Finally, Nihlathak got up and walked into his house. I followed.

"What?" he delicately inquired.

"Just wanted to know if you've heard anything about some prisons out there."

"Pens for the sheep, you mean?" He wiped rabbit grease off his chin. "They are there, and in use. You will find them inside fortifications our ancestors built. These fortifications have proven very useful for our enemies. Earlier, the boys could escape by throwing themselves back and forth between the walls until they broke. Baal's slaves now place no more than five in each. More than that, I cannot say."

Something besides the meager amount of information caught my ear. "The boys?"

His smile was wan and tired, with no joy. "These are our children. I remember days past, when they were learning the ways of war and fighting. After a glorious day spent knocking each other over the head, Malah would bind their cuts with poultices, set their broken bones, and give them medicines to cure their fevers. Now they come to her with wounds that will never heal."

I decided to gamble. "What do you think should be done about it?"

He stared at the floor, then shook his head. "No one knows. All I know is that fighting Baal has brought nothing but loss. Our youth is gone, slaughtered like lambs. Much of the heaven sent wisdom of our elders is lost as well; I do not know all of it. The outcome of the siege, and any battles which follow, are irrelevant. We have already lost." He sighed, and closed his eyes. "I am tired. Please leave me."

No worries about him doing anything but sitting around moping. I got two quivers of bolts from Larzuk, and listened to his idea about a giant crossbow that could throw bolts the size of spears for miles. Gotta admit, that would probably be more accurate than Baal's slinger-things and might be faster to reload. On the other hand, Baal's catapults can throw several kinds of payload, like grenades or those pots of explosive powders. If any Viz-Jaq'taar ever take an interest in siege weaponry, I'll tell them to look Larzuk up. He's got some ideas.

Outside, some Barbarians were hunting bunnies with throwing sticks. I've heard of primitives hunting like that. I prefer bows, but that goes without saying. Beyond Shenk's platform, the ground rose. Crude stairs were carved into the rock, the steps worn smooth by generations of feet. At the top was a Horadric waypoint in the middle of a frigid plain. The old bastards made it up here too. Cain will be thrilled when he finds out.

Out on the plain, I ran into one last pack of humanoids, and hordes upon hordes of Imps. The place was dripping with the little giggling freaks. Why Baal is deluding himself into thinking they're any kind of threat was beyond me. There were only two times when they might actually be dangerous. One was when they were mounted on another kind of demon, big brutes called Crush Beasts. They're one of the oldest kinds of demon in Hell. Sorcerers used to use them to guard treasure vaults. They're more responsive than undead, but can still go for years without food, then eat anything that'll fit in their mouths. Makes body cleanup a snap. Baal doesn't have many, but the ones he's got are completely encased in plate armor with fire jets mounted on their shoulders where an Imp can use them.

The other way an Imp can be dangerous is if it gets to one of the towers in the Barbarians' walls. From there, it can dump rocks, boiling oil, or other obnoxious things on me. The walls aren't nearly as impressive as Malah made them out to be. They're not stone walls, more like barricades made out of frozen mud. I can kick them down in places. A little house near one wall was made a lot better, so I don't know what's up with the walls being so bad.

Going through the barricade was slow and painful. There were doors, but they were barred, not locked. I'd have to drop the bow and punch through with the katar. Of course, the minute I put the bow down, Imps teleported in and started taking shots at my behind. By the time I got the bow again, they disappeared, and I could hear them laughing on the other side. When I did get the door open, a pack of humanoids would be waiting on the other side to swarm me. Finally, just to make my day complete, catapults in the next wall up were bombarding me the whole time. I got to eat ice balls or bundles of grenades if I ever stopped moving for more than five seconds. This settles it: sneaking in the shadows is the only way to go. War is for masochists.

I didn't expect to see a cage in the barricade closest to Harrogath, and for once I was right. The next wall had one, a sad mess of wooden stakes tied together with twine. The door didn't even have a lock, it was tied in place. Inside, there were five Barbarians, and at least twice as many armed humanoids and Imps outside guarding them. It probably took that many to keep the Babas in line.

Since I am here to help these guys, I'd better make it clear as day that that's what I'm doing. The bow doesn't impress, but that's ok. Katar are a lot flashier. With what I hoped was a fearsome war cry, I jumped in, almost tripping over an Imp. Kicking the little bastard out of my way, I charged the cage, hacked through the bindings on the door, and cast a gate. "Follow me if you wish to live." I love saying things like that.

Once all the big boys had run away home, I went with a more sensible strategy: I ran like a bunny and started sniping from cover. Catapult shots were still coming down, so there had to be another barricade beyond this one. Why so many? Were there enough warriors in the northlands to man that many walls? Either the Barbs thought the sight of all those barriers would intimidate everyone, or this is the most misguided defensive strategy in the world... which would explain Qual-Kehk's thinking. He's emulating the people who came up with this.

Once the second barricade was behind me, I headed up to the third. In the middle of the field, I found what had to be the last thing I ever expected. Right in the middle of the frozen tundra, snowflakes hissing up into steam the moment they touched it, was a red Hellgate, hovering over a bridge across a glowing red pit of lava. I actually had to drop an Imp skull down there to convince myself it was real. What fresh hell is this? I thought the three Prime Evils had to work together to open a Hellgate, that's why Diablo raced across the world to Kurast, and dragged Baal with him. Isn't it?

I did a quick check of my facts. One: Mephisto's and Diablo's Soulstones are now nothing but sparkly bits scattered around the Hellforge. Two: Tyrael said smashing their Soulstones will prevent them from returning to this world. Three: Baal is in this world. Four: Cain said the Three have to be together to open a Hellgate. Five: I am looking at a Hellgate, in a place where Hellgates should not be. Conclusion: at least one of these facts is not a fact.

Maybe it was stupid... no, it was stupid, but I went through the gate. That's the only way I've ever found to deal with the stupid things. The gate led back to the river of fire, opening onto a set of islands I didn't recognize. Siege weapons were lying around, and weapon racks full of... bolts! Hundreds of bolts, free for the taking! I filled my quiver and moved on.

This little piece of Hell was obviously a staging area for Baal's war machines. He also had tons of archery supplies. I found enough bolts to last a lifetime, more than I could even carry. Larzuk was happy to stockpile them for me, he didn't seem to like making them much. The islands were populated by Imps, a conference of Shenk-like toads, and something new: bull-like demons in plate armor, swinging two axes each. That's goat people, cat people, snake people, and now cows. The bulls were quick-moving, strong armed, and had teeny, tiny brains full of easily misdirected anger. We got along well.

After clearing the islands, I had enough bolts to last a lifetime. "Hiya, Larzuk," I said as I dropped the last bundle by his forge. "This is all of them."

The big guy just shook his head, looking at the stacks I'd already dropped off. "Are you sure you want to keep all these?"

"You never know when you'll need 'em. I'm wondering where Baal's hiding the archers who'd use these. I haven't seen any."

"No one I know has seen any either. Say, while you're here: I was thinking some more about Baal's machine, and had a new idea."

I grinned. I love these. "What is it?"

"You said the catapults fling pots full of explosive powers..."

"Grenades, yep."

"Instead of throwing a pot and having it explode, why not make a pot so strong it won't break, but open on one side? Then you could aim the whole explosion at one enemy."

"Woof, that could hurt somebody. Could you make a pot strong enough?"

He kept talking excitedly. "If it were made of iron, or braced with iron bands, it should be strong enough. Oh! Make it a long tube instead of a pot. You could back the explosives in one end, and leave enough room to pack something else in with it, like a heavy iron ball or sharp bits of metal. Imagine something like that hitting a demon!"

"He'd never know what hit him. You know, you should learn to write so you can write this stuff down."

He kind of laughed. "Oh, I don't know..."

"No, really! This is good stuff. Ideas are what changes the world."

"Qual-Kehk thinks my ideas are strange. Do you think it's because I lack battle scars, or am I just a few bolts short of a quiver?"

I snorted. "In my order, the trapsters would love your ideas. If you could make that tube-guided explosion thing work, the world would beat a path to your door."

Grinning a little, Larzuk shuffled from one foot to the other. "Oh... I'm just a smith, from a long line of smiths. I've never been anything else."

"So? You might get to meet Charsi. She'd like you."

Now he started to blush. "Aw..."

I grinned. "Sure. You're really her type."

He stammered a bit, then gestured to his forge. "I have... um... there's a thing I have to hammer here."

It was a struggle, but I didn't laugh. "Sure. Well, think about it."

Larzuk and Charsi would make an incredibly cute couple. They could have many large babies together. The third barricade had two cages, for a grand total of 15 freed Barbarians. I gave myself a hearty cheer and went back to Harrogath. Night was falling, and there's only one thing worse than hunting down Imps: hunting down Imps in the dark. That's beyond the call of duty, and my good deed for the day was done.