Bodiccea (Chapter 16)

Template:Bodiccea nav Bodiccea and Heather quickly cleared the rest of level 2 of the Halls of the Dead. There wasn't much there, apart from charm of greed #20, so they headed down to level 3 to find the cube. Unlike the previous levels, open rooms were fairly uncommon down here, but there were several ring-shaped corridors and some dead ends. Spear Cats and sparky desert bats rounded out the usual complement of Greater Mummies and skeletons. The moved quickly, Bodiccea forever darting ahead to kill a mummy or some annoying javelin cat, and Heather coming up behind and laying waste to everything else.

In one ring-shaped corridor, they found their first Mummy Sarcophagus. She always wanted to know what goes on inside those damned things, so after they cleared the hall, Bodiccea got Heather to stop shooting and looked inside. Her suspicious were confirmed: a tiny little factory was packed in there. A conveyer belt brought in busted mummies from throughout the tomb. A gaggle of midget Necromancers was frantically slapping bits together with duct tape, animating whatever pile o' parts resulted, and shoving them out the door -- a genuine monster garage. Bodiccea jumped in, kicked over the conveyer belt, and bound the Necros up tight with their own tape. "Ok, boys, that's a wrap!"

Level 3 of the Halls flew by quickly. Bodiccea had a lot to do with that. She was trying so hard to outdistance Heather, she kept forgetting to make sure the mummy was dead before she moved on to its skeletons. A fight with a unique Hollow One was actually less frantic. It had a Holy Fire aura, nothing dangerous, so Bodiccea went straight in, trying to kill it before Heather got there. She didn't succeed, but Heather was nice enough to concentrate on the minions anyway.

The last room on the level was the treasure chamber, with the Cube in the golden chest of joy. First, they had to kill Bloodwitch the Wild... an extra-fast kitty girl with a whip. Sigh... There was only one Greater Mummy in the chamber, and a few other Spear Cats, all easily dispatched. Cain was overjoyed to see the cube, and immediately opened it and started explaining its many functions.

"You have an quite a treasure here! It amazes me that you found one, though perhaps I should not be surprised. Most of the Horadrim were entombed here in Aranoch, their bodies altered mystically and surgically to allow them to guard their tombs after death."

"Yeah, we ran into some of them," Bodiccea said. "So, why weren't they all buried in the Valley of the Magi?"

"Many wizards and sages were united under the banner of the Horadrim. Were the valley large enough to hold all their tombs, it would not have been lost so easily."

And Blizz thought Greater Mummies were so kewl, they had to stick the stupid annoying resurrecting bastards in practically every tomb in the act, she thought. But Cain was still talking: "There are many alchemical formulae for the cube. For example, 6 gems and a sword will make a socketed long sword!"

"Sorry, not anymore. I wonder, why'd they even have that recipe? It's not like anybody ever WANTED a socketed long sword back in the day, and even less so now."

"Hmm..." Cain's eyebrows knitted together, then he coughed a bit and continued. "Two quivers of arrows can make a quiver of bolts! And likewise, two quivers of bolts will make a quiver or arrows!"

"Now that's not so bad," Bodiccea grinned. "If either of us used arrows or bolts, that is."

Heather said, "I've heard that if you use a crossbow, you tend to find a lot more arrows than bolts. I wonder if they set it up like that?"

"Sure," Bodiccea laughed. "Just like Anya always gives Spearazons a bow, Bowazons a set of javelins, and Javazons a spear."

Cain frowned. "I am very sorry, but sometimes I really cannot understand you. It is as though we are simply not communicating. Regardless, the cube is yours. I leave it up to you to discover other formulae."

"I know one," Bodiccea said. "Three rejuves make a full rejuve. I'm going to start using that one right now: I want room in my stash, and some big purples on my belt."

"A wise precaution," Cain said. "Alchemy is certainly the most widely used of the magical arts. Other techniques are limited to those with special gifts, but anyone --"

"Ok, thanks. Bye!"

"Ah, er... yes. You are always welcome to stay a while and listen. Hrm."

After consolidating a lot of purple fun juice (isn't it amazing how the cube even makes a new bottle for you?) Bodiccea and Heather took the waypoint back to the Dry Hills. They'd cleared it the night before, and Bodiccea wasn't interested in clearing it again, so she started the long run towards the Far Oasis entrance. It wasn't that late yet, so they could at least find the waypoint. Most of the monsters couldn't catch her... but one did, an extra-fast Saber Cat. It and its minions quickly blocked her path, and as more Saber Cats came up from behind, Bodiccea was quickly surrounded. Most of them were still alive when Heather caught up; her help cleared the crowd away in no time.

"I coulda taken 'em," Bodiccea said.

Heather shook her head. "Are we going to start that again? You don't have to do it all yourself! I'm here to help you!"

"I... yeah. And I'll get better armor. 25th level, 25th level..."

Bodiccea picked up charm of greed #21, and they moved on. The Far Oasis was nasty. Along with the wrecked wagons, human corpses, and pools of evil black water, there were bugs by the million. Some of them flew in single-minded swarms to suck your blood away. And the noise... there's a little corner of Hell somewhere that sounds exactly like that. Bodiccea let Heather kill them while she took on a pack of lightning beetles, and thought she was getting the better end of the bargain. There were also Black Raptors and Undead Scavengers, but those didn't bother her in the least.

The Itchies dropped a couple of nice Voulges, some splint armor, gold coins, and all kinds of other heavy things. The joys of random drops. After searching about half of the upper part of the area, they finally found the waypoint and the entrance to the Maggot Lair, right next to each other. Very convenient; random maps can work out for you sometimes.

"So, are we going in? It's not too late."

Bodiccea's lip curled. "Nah, it's late enough. Let's go home. We can come back later with some bug bombs."

"You mean throwing potions? I thought you hated those."

"Yeah. I really wish Blizz hadn't screwed up so bad with those, a potion pitcher might have been a fun build. Or if they're gonna be weak, give somebody a skill that boosts 'em a little."

"Like who?"

"I dunno. The Assassin, maybe. Some traps work like you throw 'em."

"Maybe. Um... you're not just procrastinating about going into the Maggot Lair 'cause you don't like bugs, are you?"

After a longish pause, Bodiccea said, "Heather, am I gonna have to smack you?"

Heather shrugged. "Ok. We can come back tomorrow."